You know who you aaaare... okay so I'm in my head jamming to superstar-Usher (high school classic) but this little piece is dedicated to YOU.. yea YOU. the bored yet intrigued individual on the other side of the screen reading this. Yesterday i got text from a dear friend asking me to change my background so they could read my stuff on their phone (which i did lol just for them). It hit me right then... people actually read this shit, my shit, my writings, my life. It was a pretty cool thought. Every now and they ill get something on facebook or someone randomly tell me "yeah i read your blog blah blah blah" in my head i could only think "SWEET".
So i guess what I'm trying to get at is that i appreciate you and all your feedback they ya'll give me. This thing is my outlet when I'm on the verge off breakdown all the way to when I'm happy and gotta let the world know about it. But anywho, I'm glad i can entertain and give you a good random read throughout the day. This is even for the ones who read just to pick and ridicule what i do and say... appreciate yall too, not really BUT you still click on the link and read so you're lowkey giving me promo too ;)
back to the basics:
Summer is slowly but surely winding down and i couldn't be happier. I spend an estimated 6 days a week at my job in front of this computer, you'd think I'd blog way more than i do. Stacking paper never felt so good with no strings attached im FEELIN it yadig? My baby came in the mail the other day, my mac book pro. I will name her too DONTJUDGE me i've been trapped in the pc world for too long i have finally found reality. i spend most nights to myself not even in my head just chillin enjoying my apt and trees <3
My most recent bump in the road is the future. i figure I've spent so much time trying to understand the past that i have missed out on the present and haven't even given thought to what might be ahead. So in my journey of embrace the now I'm left with the question of the future "the hell you gonna do" my answer: NOT A DAMN CLUE i have so many aspirations and things on my to do list that if i fulfilled all of them i might miss out on other things like relationship, steady job, home, kids?? (YIKES) but if i go that route i wont be able to do what i really want. See my dilemma? all in all i want it all, literally all. So does that make me selfish or a go-getter. Ahhh it's a never ending cycle. On the other hand I'm only 19 so what the fuck am i really even trippin on right? I have school paid for, a job, apartment, wonderful sisters, friends, and family. Why do i spend all this time trying to figure out what is already planned out for me. I think it's just that i don't like that thought of a set path. I want it to be my own path with my decisions/mistakes along the way. Ironically i like structure. hahaha it's a never ending story
my boss is looking at me all crazy so looks like my rants and raves have been cute short
ya'll are amazing! i love you dearly
ex's and oh's its friiiiiday
Friday, July 23, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Freak Nature
i was stumbling (nothing new) took this short little assessment its SUPER WEIRD how accurate it was but i think it's healthy to know yourself and realize your strengths and flaws i mean there is no perfect being out there anyways mine as well know what you suck at lol
Here's what it said:
You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.
that's all happy monday my loves =) i hope you have a wonderful day
ex's and oh's
Here's what it said:
You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.
that's all happy monday my loves =) i hope you have a wonderful day
ex's and oh's
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Will Remain Nameless
No title for this because as my fingers are hitting the keyboard i am still clueless about what im going to write about. I just know that i need to, thoughts and ideas emotions and feelings need to be expressed ASAP this is what i get for being over emotional lol ehhh oh well i make em proud. So a question 
I have been often asked this summer is, "Why did you cut your hair!?!?!" the easy answer i give them all is HELLOOO i live in phnx where it's easily like 200 degrees on a Tuesday afternoon. But for those who have been around and stay for the long haul know that my hair has always been a huge reflection of what's going on in the inside. Ill never forget spring of my sophomore year of high school probably Easter-ish i had this crazy curly beautiful (in my opinion) long hair.. then i found out my boyfriend at the time had been sleeping with my "best friend" before i knew i was in the bathroom with my sisters scissors chopping off my own hair. crazy girl type shit right?! lol NO i figure my hair shows that i had put time in growing it and growing myself. the length reflects the time which also reveals the memories and people i have had during this time. Looking at the mirror that day all 
i wanted to do was eliminate these people and i thought cut your hair and you are cutting them out of your life. it makes sense right?? well it's gonna have to because from there on out my hair symbol basically of what was going on inside. After that my hair grew and some thaaaangs happened so it was gone lol then i got to college had a boyfriend got into my sorority things were pretty awesome we broke up but it was nothing drastic (kind offff) finally got it to a satisfying length and BAM! that son of a bitch sam came into m
y life, loved my long hair. When we broke up half the reason was in spite of him because he liked it so much but i didn't care. Gradually spring approached and it as all down hill. needless to say now i have a boy hair cut totally cute but short! some may have gotten to this part and asked themselves... did she really just write a piece about her hair.. answer: YES I DID. so that's that my hair is short and i love it now despite the shitty things that happened for it to get this way.
I have been often asked this summer is, "Why did you cut your hair!?!?!" the easy answer i give them all is HELLOOO i live in phnx where it's easily like 200 degrees on a Tuesday afternoon. But for those who have been around and stay for the long haul know that my hair has always been a huge reflection of what's going on in the inside. Ill never forget spring of my sophomore year of high school probably Easter-ish i had this crazy curly beautiful (in my opinion) long hair.. then i found out my boyfriend at the time had been sleeping with my "best friend" before i knew i was in the bathroom with my sisters scissors chopping off my own hair. crazy girl type shit right?! lol NO i figure my hair shows that i had put time in growing it and growing myself. the length reflects the time which also reveals the memories and people i have had during this time. Looking at the mirror that day all 
i wanted to do was eliminate these people and i thought cut your hair and you are cutting them out of your life. it makes sense right?? well it's gonna have to because from there on out my hair symbol basically of what was going on inside. After that my hair grew and some thaaaangs happened so it was gone lol then i got to college had a boyfriend got into my sorority things were pretty awesome we broke up but it was nothing drastic (kind offff) finally got it to a satisfying length and BAM! that son of a bitch sam came into m
y life, loved my long hair. When we broke up half the reason was in spite of him because he liked it so much but i didn't care. Gradually spring approached and it as all down hill. needless to say now i have a boy hair cut totally cute but short! some may have gotten to this part and asked themselves... did she really just write a piece about her hair.. answer: YES I DID. so that's that my hair is short and i love it now despite the shitty things that happened for it to get this way. **** thank you marriott for providing me with a computer to get through the day and paying me to blog.. basically. and shoutout to by big just because i love her!
ex's and oh's =D
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