a year and then some

So it's been just a little over a year since I started this thing. I was looking back at all my post remembering all the things that sparked me to write what I did. So what have I learned in one year??

1) Don't fall in love with someone you just met, that's for damn sure...it's all a trick
2) Don't let the petty things get in the way.. like Sydney not putting away the dishes or someone pissing you off cause they didn't show up on time..it won't matter 10 years from now.
3) Bitches will remain bitches no matter how many years pass. Simply said
4) My family will ALWAYS be there - people always say that kind of shit. but when you actually experience it, it gives the phrase a whole new meaning and appreciation
5) I cannot do everything on my own (as much as I'd like to think that I can)
6) Sister are forever, trials and tribulations are inevitable, and our love is unconditional
7) The grass truly is greener on the other side... it just takes awhile to get there
8) THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE "RIGHT" THING I mean basic right and wrongs of life, yes but no right way to live or no right way to act. Everyone is different. This is probably the most important thing I've learned. I am no one to put another person down for what they do or say because they could turn around and do the exact thing.. so who's right? My point exactly!
9) This job is only temporary- learn from my co-workers and clientele about the kind of person I do and DON'T want to be.
10) Life?????? It goes on. (Pops always told me this)

First Impression

I remember the first time I ever saw you. The exact thing you were wearing, ever word we exchanged. You were sitting on the couch timid and focused on your call of duty. I did notice thought that I sparked your interest... I looked at you as if I knew you from somewhere. Wait, I did. You were that random guy that started following me on twitter, yes twitter. I recognized your face and asked if you were "blah blah" you responded yes, smiled and embarrassed. I thought it was a little weird that I had just met you but you caught my attention and made me curious. Who is this guy in the ASU sweatshirt with the vans and glasses. Your quietness intrigued me to know more. Who are you? WELL, like me and Alysha always said "momma raised us to be persistent" and persistent I was. Zai knew what he was doing that night he left us to watch Netflix while he went to a friend's dinner "real quick" almost funny now that I think about it. We sat awkwardly on separate couches small talking about what we liked how ridiculous the movie was. WE were both in our own world due to previous activities but we enjoyed every second on that awkward couch. The six words followed a great conversation were "I think we should make out" WHY would I comply to this kind of request??? Because in a way it was funny honest blunt and slightly in my realms of interest. And that was the beginning of the end. The following months were just a respeat of that day except it got better each morning, night, meal, adventure, conversation that followed.


FRAUD - and I thought I was crazy. Well, I am but nothing in the ball park of you. I look back now and think what did I get myself into. The situation itself was like playing with fire. No time or need to get into details. I realize I make you seem like a monster when I talk about you. You aren't though. But there is really no way that 'we' could ever be a 'we' in any shape or form. I wish I could look past things but they will always be there and no one deserves that kind of shit. How many more times must I write or mention you before you disapear from my memory? There aren't feelings anymore but lingering thoughts that won't leave my alone, why? Everyone goes through this kind of shit right? They have to there are a gazillion people in this world. Someone is bound to relate.

So dear the idea of you in general...please leave my mind and thoughts alone. They don't want you.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I can't wait to be where I belong
It's not here I'm rather- misplaced
Got my roadmap in hand and destination in sight
Left my heart somewhere awhile back
So now I have to get whats mine
I can't wait to be where I belong

im sorry

A phrase that hardly has any meaning anymore to anyone but the only words i can say is, im sorry

I apologize, maybe?

Saying it in a different way might make it better to hear but still boils down to the meaningless "im sorry"

heaven at night

its only 538 and it's dark, in my room at least
but somehow nightfall has brought a certain light to my day
despite this pounding headache and fluctuating sickness
I can finally see that everything is gonna be okay

HOVA

"Time don't go back it goes forward"
ok jay-z that's true but im enjoying time traveling

Planet H

I live in my own world where happiness surrounds me and love isn't hard to find
I live in my own world, a peaceful place for you and me
I guess I live in a dream and waking up isn't often favored