Don't you wish you could wake up one morning and know the answers to everything? Or at least the things in life that matter. I do but I don't, half the fun is finding out the answer and the bitch about it is exactly that. No one tells you that the decision you're making is possibly the dumbest thing ever or that you should have done this or that. Nah life was so kind enough to let us figure these things out on our own.
I went to the workshop for a Women's Expose in Gilbert last weekend for service (yaaay for early Saturday mornings) and it really left me thinking. The speaker was there talking about how in life we have paths and through these paths were continue onto a journey. In each path there are general obstacles, feats & triumphs, loss of direction and change of heart. She asked about our first "Aha moments" and what happened when the question of WHY became so profound occurred. The type of situation that demands attention and answers, maybe not right away but you suddenly have an powerful urge to explore and discover. I sat back thinking, "Am i too young to have ever had one because I'm almost 10000% positive I have". Looking back at my sisters I asked them, some had and some hadn't which basically confirmed that it's totally possible to be 19 and to have had a legitimate epiphany.
I'll never forget freezing my ass off in February driving home one night from Alysha's absolutely hysterical listening to "The Love Below" album sitting at a stoplight when i look up and there's this old boxy van with "DO WHAT YOU LOVE" written on the back of it. At that moment the song Vibrate came on and I bout had a damn heart attack. Every single thing made sense, it clicked, it was all in unison; my life, the future made sense and the past was irrelevant. i guess that's why it's only a slight moment of clarity because to me that only made things more complicated. I understood there was more to me then I had been exercising but what more could I do to make myself, my life, my surroundings more positive for MY well being. Continued self-improvement, elimination of bad vibes, and a healthy optimistic drive to move forward is all it took. Like all other things, easier said then done. It's like your stuck with all these different paths you can take not really thinking each one through about to just walk on whichever one you can see the light to then BAM you see that each path will have a different outcome which leads to become really REALLY unsure of your decision. I can't be alone in this, no? So where are you going? Where am i going? I am confident that the answer to this is a basic yet bold I DON'T KNOW. but I'm eager to find out. the path for me is unknown and will most likely remain that way until i decide to hop on one.
Thoroughly thinking things out is wise but at the same time it may hold you back from the fun, dangerous, exciting experiences you might miss out on if you decide to go the square way. I'm sure each way has its pros and cons. So in the midst of being lost in translation I choose no path. and yeah the answers would be nice to have but I'll take the long way, the long path to see where I end up. It's gotten me this far with a few cuts and bruises but nothing time can't heal.
PS. Random shoutout on this blog goes to Danniel Z. for being THE most hospitable knight in ATX! good green good vibes good music good FOOD good people-all day. mucho 87 <3 - Left my heart in Texas
Ex's and Oh's
