First Impression

I remember the first time I ever saw you. The exact thing you were wearing, ever word we exchanged. You were sitting on the couch timid and focused on your call of duty. I did notice thought that I sparked your interest... I looked at you as if I knew you from somewhere. Wait, I did. You were that random guy that started following me on twitter, yes twitter. I recognized your face and asked if you were "blah blah" you responded yes, smiled and embarrassed. I thought it was a little weird that I had just met you but you caught my attention and made me curious. Who is this guy in the ASU sweatshirt with the vans and glasses. Your quietness intrigued me to know more. Who are you? WELL, like me and Alysha always said "momma raised us to be persistent" and persistent I was. Zai knew what he was doing that night he left us to watch Netflix while he went to a friend's dinner "real quick" almost funny now that I think about it. We sat awkwardly on separate couches small talking about what we liked how ridiculous the movie was. WE were both in our own world due to previous activities but we enjoyed every second on that awkward couch. The six words followed a great conversation were "I think we should make out" WHY would I comply to this kind of request??? Because in a way it was funny honest blunt and slightly in my realms of interest. And that was the beginning of the end. The following months were just a respeat of that day except it got better each morning, night, meal, adventure, conversation that followed.


FRAUD - and I thought I was crazy. Well, I am but nothing in the ball park of you. I look back now and think what did I get myself into. The situation itself was like playing with fire. No time or need to get into details. I realize I make you seem like a monster when I talk about you. You aren't though. But there is really no way that 'we' could ever be a 'we' in any shape or form. I wish I could look past things but they will always be there and no one deserves that kind of shit. How many more times must I write or mention you before you disapear from my memory? There aren't feelings anymore but lingering thoughts that won't leave my alone, why? Everyone goes through this kind of shit right? They have to there are a gazillion people in this world. Someone is bound to relate.

So dear the idea of you in general...please leave my mind and thoughts alone. They don't want you.