and then she speaks

Paper and pen in hits.. SPLOTCH saying everything i never could would or will speak, a chamber of thoughts unlocked and unleashed with each stroke. so many can relate to this style of expression but the connection between me and this pen is liberating. many can do it much better than i, but this is my therapy. maybe one day when im gone someone will have their own story or or epic memoir of what i was or who i am only with many inaccurate dates names and places. not even the ones who knew me best will be able to speak on my behalf correctly. so shall i start from the beginning or work my way backwards from the present? Answer: whatever comes to my mind is what ill share for i have always been simply "random". Funny i use the word simply because i often feel im the farthest thing from that. i wish it was easy as one two three but ive come tot he conclusion it's alot more like trigonometry. it's the kind of person you see and the think after leaving how that hell did that happen as you walk away trying to come up with ridiculous answers that will make you feel a little bit better about yourself when you go to bed. It's all good though i ask myself the same question, quite often actually how did this happen? If only i had an answer hell i'll take an idea then i might be a little closer to simple. unfortunately though that's not the case, so i guess 'complex and random' is the pretentious title i take